Isn't she lovely?

Well, isn't she?

I have always LOVED square format photos. I can't explain why; I just do. So, despite my loathing of all things associated with hipsterdom, I've decided to give it a try with this pretty little thang. I don't expect to unleash any hidden genius or anything. I just want to explore something new. Fun photo times! 

It was a simple and lovely weekend.

Meet Kinley. Hey....I think she is flipping me off!

This weekend was so relaxing!

Friday night I spent the evening in, and I got the chance to finish up an interesting read that I received for my birthday about a month ago. While I found her message valuable, there were times when I found her tone patronizing which discredited the author a bit for me.

Saturday morning my bff and I made a run to the Colombia Employee Store where I was seduced by puffy jackets with fur trimmed hoods like this bad boy. Alas, I left with only a simple waterproof windbreaker for my trip to Vietnam. We also stopped at our favorite Goodwill to treasure hunt for books and jewelry. Obvs I couldn't walk away empty handed. The books I purchased will be added to my 2011 reading list to be posted later.:) We rounded out the morning with wings and tots......delicious!

The rest of Saturday was spent watching Oprah on DVD. Oh yes, there was inspiration. Laugh if you will, but that woman has some serious wisdom that I am trying to put to work in my life.

And last, but not least there was Sunday, lovely Sunday. The first part of the day was dedicated to friendship, coffee and pie. The latter half of the day I was given a long drive w/new music and a new baby to meet. I couldn't ask for more.

I am grateful for weekends. (Yes, that's a little bit of Oprah coming out.)

It's time that I start taking my goals seriously.

Goal #1: Marry a Korean B-Boy. Preferably one from this crew.

                       


Goal #2: Have a bunch of babies that can do this:

Wrist tattoo muthaf***a!!!

Ác giả, ác báo

Last Thursday I finally got the tattoo I had been planning for over a year! It is a Vietnamese proverb that loosely translated means, "As the call, so the echo," or "You reap what you sow." Translated more closely it means, "If you do evil, evil will come back to you." Essentially it is the same core meaning, but proverbs in Vietnam are used to warn/teach children lessons, so the closer translation is a little on the negative/scary side. I don't mind though. I think it is a good reminder for me. My favorite part about it is that it is in my dad's handwriting, so it is a part of him that I will have with me for the rest of my life. What makes it even MORE special is that my best friend and I went together and she got a one in the same place, so now I will always carry a little reminder of her as well.:) 

This is my year! But.....

.....I still need a plan! Not to worry, not to worry. I have decided that I still have time. I know that the new year has already passed, but I realized that I'm celebrating two new years! I get until February 3rd to figure out exactly how I'm going to make this year amazing! The best part is that I will have lots of extra time to reflect and plot because I will be traveling. What else am I going to do on an 18 hour flight?

I baked a cake!

Not the best of pictures, but you get the idea.

No, I don't have any delusions of turning this into a baking blog.:) I just wanted to share the fact that I tried something that I had wanted to try for a very long time. There is something about a layered cake that just makes me so happy! They are so classic. They represent hospitality, warmth, and thoughtfulness to me. This particular cake did not turn out amazing, but it was certainly still edible. Tasty even! I look forward to many more baking adventures! 

'Tis Life.

Tranquility is what I need.

Lately I have been having this constant inner monologue about what I should be doing with my life. Seriously, it is incessant. Here is a small sample of what goes through my head every second of every day:

• Should I get another part-time job?
• How many schools should I set up interviews with in Vietnam?
• Will they even want to interview me?
• Do I really want to move away?
• How should I consolidate my loans?
• Should I declare bankruptcy?
• Will potential employers do a credit check before hiring me?
• Should I get on the sub list or keep my steady tutoring job? Which will look better to potential employers?
• Do I even want to teach?
• Would an ELL or reading endorsement be better?
• Can I really afford more loans?

I think you get the idea.

Here is what I know for sure........I need to make money, and I want to work with kids. Along with all of the stress that comes with these thoughts is the real (and perceived) pressure that I am feeling from everyone else in my life. I made such a big deal about going back to school to become a teacher, and I'm right back where I began. Except now I have waaaaaay more debt. I also feel like everyone is watching and waiting for me to make my next move. I feel like Ms. Swan is following me around saying, "And then? And then? And then?" No and then!!!

Of course, it is really coming more from myself than anyone else, but it is pressure that I feel all the same.

I worry that I will make the wrong decision for myself. I worry that I will do something to impress other people or to prove that I'm committed to teaching no matter what. I worry that I will not be ambitious enough and stagnate.

I'm afraid that if I don't move to Vietnam and do something extraordinary with my life that others will be disappointed. I am looked at by my friends as the independent and adventurous one; I'm the one who is supposed to do something different and exciting. Part of me really wants to live that life because a large part of me IS that person. I'm afraid that if I stay here (whether I find a teaching job or not) I will be thought of as boring and safe. If I don't push myself into an adventure will I still grow?

The thing is that I want both lives. I want to live in another country, have new experiences, and be forced out of my comfort zone. I also want to settle in here and focus on the amazing relationships that I have been fostering for most of my life. Neither one is a BETTER choice.

I don't even know if these are my only two options. All I know is that I have a deadline looming ahead, and I have no idea what I want to do with myself.